Archive for the MORNING WOOD Category

IT IS NOW TIME TO PUT ON YOUR 3D GL’ASS’ES

Posted in ENTERTAINMENT, MORNING WOOD on February 1, 2010 by K-CITY

3d pornHMB? asks and we receive. After TBP’s expose piece on the coming of 3D movies, we were left asking “Where is the 3D porn?”

Well thanks to HMB? fan Jeremy Brown, a story of the first 3D boobs was dropped on my doorstep.

It seems that Italian film director Tinto Brass is poised to create Italy’s first 3D film and the world’s first 3D porn.

Best known for his 1979 film Caligula, Brass plans to make the new film about a Roman emperor ruined by Americans (with only penises as swords).

With this new advancement in technology there is only one piece of advice: WATCH OUT FOR THE 3D MONEY SHOT!! (no homo)

Digg This
Advertisements

HOW TO PEE WITH MORNING WOOD

Posted in MORNING WOOD on January 29, 2010 by K-CITY

pee with wood

As men, we often wake in the morning with what most scientists call “morning wood”. Us laymen call it “nocturnal penile tumescence”.

In 2005, Bancroft hypothesized that,

The noradrenergic neurons of the locus ceruleus are inhibitory to penile erection, and that the cessation of their discharge that occurs during REM sleep may allow testosterone-related excitatory actions to manifest as NPT.

Question is, how do you pee with said morning wood without painting the bathroom walls and ceiling?

One theory, as illustrated above is the lunge.

I use the bend over forwards as far as I can, trying to bend the NPT downwards.

What do you do?

And what is another cause of morning wood? Oh ya! It’s this web site. HERE YOU GO!

lumberjack girl “Prepare to have your nocturnal penile tumescence chopped down like a tree.”

Digg This

A DOUBLE SHOT OF MORNING SEXPRESSO

Posted in HOW MANY BEERS?, MORNING WOOD on January 28, 2010 by K-CITY

espresso girls

In  Washington state last year, five drive thru coffee shops were shut down and charged with….. prostitution, after customers complained that they could give the girls extra money for a little bit of a show.

Like if i was offended by something I wouldn’t pay someone to do it, go home, salute the general and two soldiers while I think of it, clean up, and then phone in a complaint to my local police department.

In fact, I would probably pick up a three-a-day coffee habit just to support these girls who are obviously just trying to make their way through medical school hooker college my pants.

Digg This

MORNING WOOD

Posted in HOW MANY BEERS?, MORNING WOOD on January 27, 2010 by K-CITY

Here at HMB? we love Alexander Keith’s and chicken wings. Since beer is a whole lot sexier than chicken wings, the first ever instalment of Morning Wood is some lovely ladies from Alexander Keith’s.

How many beers would it take for the ugly one?

Which one IS the ugly one?

Note: Morning Wood was posted at 6:32 AM EST while you were still sound asleep.

keiths girls

Digg This