PROPER DOMAIN NAME COMING SOON!!!

That’s right!! The HMB? Crew has purchased a domain name and hosting from a reputable Mexican provider.

It is going to take a couple days for us to get the new site up to our incredibly high standards.

Speaking of standards, here is your new motto:

IF SHE DOESN’T MEET YOUR STANDARDS, LOWER THEM.

This helped me through the first 25 years of my life and I shall pass the knowledge on to the masses. One good way to lower your standards is with a nice, cold, Alexander Keith’s.

See you at the pub.

HOW MANY BEERS?

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HOW MANY BEERS?

Because no weekend could be complete without it…Seriously, How Many Beers?

A DOUBLE SHOT OF MORNING SEXPRESSO

In  Washington state last year, five drive thru coffee shops were shut down and charged with….. prostitution, after customers complained that they could give the girls extra money for a little bit of a show.

Like if i was offended by something I wouldn’t pay someone to do it, go home, salute the general and two soldiers while I think of it, clean up, and then phone in a complaint to my local police department.

In fact, I would probably pick up a three-a-day coffee habit just to support these girls who are obviously just trying to make their way through medical school hooker college my pants.

MORNING WOOD

Here at HMB? we love Alexander Keith’s and chicken wings. Since beer is a whole lot sexier than chicken wings, the first ever instalment of Morning Wood is some lovely ladies from Alexander Keith’s.

How many beers would it take for the ugly one?

Which one IS the ugly one?

Note: Morning Wood was posted at 6:32 AM EST while you were still sound asleep.

A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED

On the weekend before world renowned stoner holiday April 20, the First Annual Western Slope Cannabis Crown will be held in Aspen, Colorado. The event will feature a huge festival/party with music and speakers.

The most important event of the day is the Cannabis Crown itself. It is a grow-off between 400 of the top legal growers of medical marijuana in Colorado, which if you read THIS you will remember includes a wide variety of people.

But seriously, who is gonna judge this thing? I hear the panel includes Bob Dylan, Kevin Smith, Seth Rogen, Matthew McConaughey, the Kool-Aid Man, and Michael Phelps with Ross Rebagliati in the room but not smoking.

Looking for comments…. How many beers? or weed? or beers AND weed? Oh darn, I’ve gone cross-eyed.

SERIOUSLY, HOW MANY BEERS?

F-CUP COOKIES ARE BETTER THAN DD COOKIES

No offense to Paul Atkin, because we’ve all seen that he can kick someone in the head and knock them out, but we all know that Japanese girls are not necessarily known for their being blessed in the chest.

Apparently there is a new product out of Japan that promises natural breast enhancement in the form of a low-calorie and delicious cookie.

Mmmmm.. cookie.

Each F-Cup Cookie is made with 50mg of the herbal breast enhancer Pueraria Mirifica and claim to make you have….

“Healthier skin, less wrinkles, better physical condition, increase in breast size, increase in firmness and fullness of the breasts, decreased body hair, relief of menopausal symptoms, tension relief.”

We should take all this Haiti relief money and buy F-Cup Cookies for every woman in Canada.

Orrrrrrrrr………….. you can just check out the videos over at Pueraria Mirifica which instruct you on how to massage various sizes of Asian breasts.