With spring training only one month away and opening day at the beginning of March, I have dedicated a whole instalment of TGTBTU to the Blue Jay’s roster. If you don’t like the Jay’s screw you and stay tuned for more meaningless posts about boobs, balls, and boners.

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With Frasor an almost sure thing for opening day closer, his support crew will include Downs, Carlson, Camp, Tallet, Roenicke, Hayhurst, Janssen, Accardo, Zinicola. In my opinion, the bullpen looks pretty good even with the missing tattooed fastball throwing arm of Brandon League.

Aaron Hill and Adam Lind will be returning after career years. Aaron is an all-star second baseman with a bat handcrafted by angels. Adam will likely return as DH to bag more homers than Lurleen Lumpkin.

Shortstop pick-up A. Gonzalez looks poised to be a decent addition to the Jays left-infield. He had an all-star appearance in 1999, won a ring with Florida in 2003 and has a career .247 batting average. He is only around for a year but hopefully, by the grace of the baseball gods, we could see John McDonald somehow get some pop in his bat because he stops more balls than (insert sluts name)’s chin and is one of the fan favorites here in Toronto.

jays streakerTHE BAD:

With the Doc gone, one possible starting rotation is Romero, Marcum, Morrow, Rzepczynski, and Cecil, with Richmond, Purcey and McGowan also available. This is highly tentative though because almost all of these guys other than Romero could easily make or break their job in spring training.



In order to become a contender in the impossible AL East, every position must be cemented with a Grade A player. Though newly signed former Royal John Buck is good for a few homers and a decent average, he is only here for one year and doesn’t even really have a back-up let alone a replacement.

The only sure thing in the outfield is that Vernon Wells will be standing in centre field eating Spitz with one hand down the front of his pants. He is the perfect example of why seven year contracts don’t work. Last year, his blatant laziness produced many dropped balls and a stretch of 41 games without a homerun. Do you ever wonder why during a 0-for-21 spell he never gets mad or throws a helmet? It’s because he plain and simple does not give a fuck. If I was going to make $12.5 million this year regardless of stats, I wouldn’t try that hard either…. oh wait….. yes I would.



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  1. Let’s hope the Yankees and sox have awful years.

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