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The Oscar nominations were announced today and the big surprise is the highest grossing comedy of all time, The Hangover, being nominated for best picture. The rule around HMB is; if a movie has beer and strippers then it’s got our vote, good luck guys.

It is going to take a couple days for us to get the new site up to our incredibly high standards.

Speaking of standards, here is your new motto:

IF SHE DOESN’T MEET YOUR STANDARDS, LOWER THEM.

This helped me through the first 25 years of my life and I shall pass the knowledge on to the masses. One good way to lower your standards is with a nice, cold, Alexander Keith’s.

See you at the pub.

HOW MANY BEERS?

Well thanks to HMB? fan Jeremy Brown, a story of the first 3D boobs was dropped on my doorstep.

It seems that Italian film director Tinto Brass is poised to create Italy’s first 3D film and the world’s first 3D porn.

Best known for his 1979 film Caligula, Brass plans to make the new film about a Roman emperor ruined by Americans (with only penises as swords).

With this new advancement in technology there is only one piece of advice: WATCH OUT FOR THE 3D MONEY SHOT!! (no homo)

Because no weekend could be complete without it…Seriously, How Many Beers?

I know, I know. Rafa left his quarter-final match against Andy Murray because he injured his knee, but to me, tennis without a Nadal-Federer final is like a Sunday without Tiger making a charge. I just don’t want to see it. We’ll give Nadal the benefit of the doubt this week and give him a  runner-up reward, the real Banana of the Week goes to…

34 players dropped out of the NFL’s annual Pro Bowl on Sunday, they actually phoned me and asked if I’d like to punt. I would have too, if it wasn’t for my Call of Duty addiction

1. Phaneuf and Cuthbert join the Leafs – Two years ago he was the second coming of Al MacInnis, now he’s a Maple Leaf. Big weekend for Toronto, as first they blow a three goal lead and then they trade half their team.

2. Winners keep Winning – The Canucks kept their winning streak alive as did the Caps and Sens. Watch out for Thursday night as Van City brings the Sedin show into Ottawa.

3. #16 for Fed – Roger won his record 16th major early Sunday morning. He easily handled Andy Murray on his way to the record books.

4. Edge Returns – For all you wrestling fans, the Royal Rumble was on Sunday night. Canadian Adam Copeland aka Edge made his return as a surprise entry into the Rumble. Edge had been out since rupturing his achilles tendon last year. Edge came into the Rumble as the second last entry and eliminated John Cena for the big win.

THE GOOD:

With Frasor an almost sure thing for opening day closer, his support crew will include Downs, Carlson, Camp, Tallet, Roenicke, Hayhurst, Janssen, Accardo, Zinicola. In my opinion, the bullpen looks pretty good even with the missing tattooed fastball throwing arm of Brandon League.

Aaron Hill and Adam Lind will be returning after career years. Aaron is an all-star second baseman with a bat handcrafted by angels. Adam will likely return as DH to bag more homers than Lurleen Lumpkin.

Shortstop pick-up A. Gonzalez looks poised to be a decent addition to the Jays left-infield. He had an all-star appearance in 1999, won a ring with Florida in 2003 and has a career .247 batting average. He is only around for a year but hopefully, by the grace of the baseball gods, we could see John McDonald somehow get some pop in his bat because he stops more balls than (insert sluts name)’s chin and is one of the fan favorites here in Toronto.

THE BAD:

With the Doc gone, one possible starting rotation is Romero, Marcum, Morrow, Rzepczynski, and Cecil, with Richmond, Purcey and McGowan also available. This is highly tentative though because almost all of these guys other than Romero could easily make or break their job in spring training.

THE UGLY:

In order to become a contender in the impossible AL East, every position must be cemented with a Grade A player. Though newly signed former Royal John Buck is good for a few homers and a decent average, he is only here for one year and doesn’t even really have a back-up let alone a replacement.

The only sure thing in the outfield is that Vernon Wells will be standing in centre field eating Spitz with one hand down the front of his pants. He is the perfect example of why seven year contracts don’t work. Last year, his blatant laziness produced many dropped balls and a stretch of 41 games without a homerun. Do you ever wonder why during a 0-for-21 spell he never gets mad or throws a helmet? It’s because he plain and simple does not give a fuck. If I was going to make $12.5 million this year regardless of stats, I wouldn’t try that hard either…. oh wait….. yes I would.