SNOOKI THE COOTCHIE CROOK

Does anyone watch the Jersey Shore? And if you do, will you openly admit it? Well I do, and I will.

When you don’t have cable, there are limited resources for killing a day watching TV on a hungover Sunday. However, most Canadian TV stations have full episodes of their shows streaming online.

Some of my favorties are CBC, The Comedy Network, and of course MTV Canada. Another good spot for all the recent American shows is Purely Top TV and for live streaming sports ATDHE.

Which leads me to the Jersey Shore. Now that I have watched the entire first season and all the drama is over, we are left with some perfect HMB? candidates.

Jenni “JWoww” Farley is an alleged graphic designer and promoter from NY. She comes to the Shore with a BF but ultimately ends up cheating and fighting her way to the final episode. (Note: Yes, they are fake.)

Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is the firecracker of the show. She’s the shortest and fattest and in an hour with her you don’t know if she will polish your knob or start crying or rip your head off. She is perfect for HMB? because no one would do her sober but for sure we’d hop on after a case of Keith’s.

Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola is boring.

Question is, which Guidette would you slide your baguette into and how many beers would it take?

SNOOKS, J-WIZZY, AND SAMMI